Scott and I were watching a TV show recently, and to avoid spoilers I won’t go into too much detail, but the episode was all about a forthcoming wedding and completing the final choices like napkin type and colour, tablecloths, music, etc. The bride was included in a large work project at the last minute, which didn’t leave her free to complete these details, and the groom stepped up and said “I can sort it all out” in a very blasé but sweet manner. He even created alarms on his phone for when each task should be complete, but towards the middle of the episode, he approaches the only married man he knows and admits that he is failing and isn’t cut out to be a husband. Meanwhile alarms keep going off from the phone clutched in his hands, causing his eyes to get ever wider, and sweat to bead on his brow.
His friend reassures him that he will be a good husband, and that these choices are not going to make or break his marriage, and agrees to go along to meetings to help him out. Only to be stalled while picking the linen. There are so many colours, but beige goes with everything, right? But there are SO MANY DIFFERENT SHADES OF BEIGE! And they are all different materials, and maybe this shade of beige won’t go with the flowers, or the bride’s dress, or the groomsmen’s ties, or … And again the spiral of “I’m going to be a terrible husband” begins.
The groom and his friend begin to brainstorm. The friend reminds the groom that he knows his bride better than anyone, and he knows what she would want if he just stops thinking about it and does what needs to be done.
And an answer comes. It’s this shade of beige, but not in this fabric because it’s itchy, oh but this fabric is perfect, super absorbent, nice to touch, slightly oversize so it’s actually useful, and so is born his “Groom Gut”. He then practically floats through the rest of the list, catching up to his alarms, and surpassing them, following his Groom Gut the entire way.
And his bride isn’t that amazed. The TV show could have gone with the cliché: ‘Oh, I can’t believe that you were able to pull this off without me’, and the groom would have agreed, ‘yes, it’s a miracle.’ Instead, she’s grateful that everything is sorted, but she knows her future husband, and what an amazing man he already is, and they’ve both gained an extra tonne of trust in each other.
Because that’s what marriage is all about. Trusting the other person to be there when you can’t juggle a thousand things yourself. And it starts before the wedding day. It starts with knowing your partner wouldn’t like itchy fabric, or knowing the colour doesn’t matter quite so much as the functionality. It starts with knowing that you know the person you’re about to marry, and that you are on this journey together, and neither of you has to do anything alone.
So grooms, if you hear alarm pings going off every three minutes on her phone, or see a notebook full of seemingly insurmountable lists, and if you want to be more involved, take a look at the list, even if your bride hasn’t asked you to. There will be things on that list that you can look at and say – "I know exactly how to get that done". It could be finding the band or DJ, because you know you have good taste in music (and your bride knows it, too), or making the appointments with vendors. You know your bride’s calendar. Have a chat with her about what days suit her best, then get calling or emailing. And if you still need to find a Celebrant or an MC for your wedding, you already know who to call. Just follow your Groom Gut 😉.
If you have any questions about how to follow your Groom Gut, or have an example of how you've followed your Groom Gut in the past, send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org or comment on our page on Facebook or Instagram.
Until next time,
About the team at Master of Ceremonies Sydney
I’m Scott Phillips, a registered Marriage Celebrant, professional Master of Ceremonies (MC) and dad to two gorgeous girls.
I’m really a dog person, but a 12-year-old cat named Morgan has somehow managed to turn me into one of her minions.
We believe that every event, whether it is a wedding ceremony, wedding reception, a corporate function (even a Christmas party), a charity event, an expo or trade show, will be a Moment of Truth. A moment that will form memories, bonds and goodwill that will carry a lasting impression.
As a Celebrant I believe in creating a magical, memorable ceremony that will be remembered for years to come, and to do that I ensure each ceremony is unique and tailored to the bride and groom, who they are individually and as a couple.
I'm Keira Brown and I’m a writer, cat lover, and new owner of a dog named Bear, who lives up to his name in size and looks, but he’s really cuddly.
I used to be completely uninterested in marriage, weddings, relationships, anything to do with love really. Not because I'd had my heart broken, but because to me it just didn’t seem that important. Then I met Scott, and my life, my entire world changed. Everything was about weddings, because that's what he does. And gradually, as I fell deeper in love with Scott and started helping him with Master of Ceremonies Sydney, I finally got it. It's not about the marriage, or the reception, decorations or food, or even the ceremony - it's about two people declaring their love for each other before the entire world. An irrevocable promise to always be there for each other.
I quit my day job, and now help Scott run Master of Ceremonies Sydney full time. I get to merge my love of writing stories with my passion for writing an unforgettable ceremony. It’s been a hell of a ride. I can't wait to see what happens next!